Me and Lefty McGee

Everything’s all set, but you need to know that I’m gonna miss my kidney. I’ve had that particular kidney since birth and have grown rather fond of it. Sure, I never gave it a name but now that it’s gone I shall call him Lefty McGee. That’s called irony because those guys removed my right kidney. They were careful when they did it, I just wish they had been as careful sewing me up afterwards. It’s still tender and red around the incision. I’m sure a little antibacterial ointment will stop the puss from oozing out of it.

They seemed pretty happy. I mean, they were chattering on and on. I don’t speak their language so I don’t know exactly what they were saying, but they sure sounded pleased. They said “Camaro” a few times. This got me excited. They would say it, look at me, then laugh as I gave them an enthusiastic, drug-addled thumbs up. Hector laughed at me the most, but that was because this was all his doing. Hector… I mean el Lagarto arranged everything. He set up the plane ride to get there and laughed when I asked about passports or malaria vaccinations. He laughed and said some things to those other guys who were waiting by the plane at that small airstrip on the outskirts of town. I didn’t even know there was an airstrip there. Just a few rusted metal buildings, some small planes, and the concrete runway.

But yeah, Hector said some things to those guys in Spanish and then they laughed. They looked at me and laughed, which made me laugh. We all laughed. I didn’t get malaria.

Removing Lefty McGee went fine. The flight back was good. Now I’m just waiting to go see el Lagarto again. I told him about the puss seeping from the cut. He said don’t worry about it because they have to do another minor surgery now that I am back home. Something about a post-op check-up. I told him about the lump in my side but he assured me it was normal. The second surgery will remove the lump. He laughed when he told me that. Hector and his friends sure are a happy bunch.

After the second surgery they are gonna pay me for Lefty McGee. With that, and all of my savings, I will have enough money for your 72 ½ Camaro. Candy-apple red with dual black racing stripes! Big ass slicks in the back. Damn that’s a beautiful car! It’s my Dad’s dream car. He always said he would do anything to own one. Dad died last year and this car will be my way of remembering him. I know it has been 8 months since you put this ad up, but I hope it’s still for sale.


About Chad R Smith

I am an aspiring writer and a hapless motivator, hoping to spread a different perspective of the world and the chaotic ramblings of my mind with others View all posts by Chad R Smith

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